2 posts tagged “mbi”
Those colloquies that are more negative and abrasive in nature are naturally the ones that cause the most turmoil. People seem to either listen silently or immediately become concerned for my mental health and eternal security. Over time, I've learned to cope with either reaction.
For those that have known me for some time, or are unusually perceptive, they seem to grasp the nature of my often dramatized ramblings. They understand that while I can sometimes sound impressively bitter and angry, I simply need to vent. I obviously prefer to hear a summary of their feelings on the subject as well, but it isn't integral to the process.
The trouble is usually seen with people that don't know me very well. During two such discourses here at school, the reactions were a bit stronger than what I'm used to. After the first, one of my many bitter diatribes about women, one of my friends recommended counseling. After the second, an argument for more trust between Christian colleges and their students, I was told "I'm scared for you Michael. It seems like your bitterness and lack of respect for authority are going to destroy you if you continue." Now I really appreciate that these people were concerned for me, but their comments seemed very out of the ordinary.
Given that I'm studying the Bible, I've been reading through and journalling the New Testament. In Matthew 23:13-36, we come across Jesus' righteous rant. Now I'm a big fan of Jesus. Being God incarnate, His actions are blessed with a certain wisdom that's hard to come by outside of the Bible. It's obvious from the text that Jesus is mad, and he sure is offending people:
15"Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites, because you travel around on sea and land to make one proselyte; and when he becomes one, you make him twice as much a son of hell as yourselves.
How would you feel if someone said this to you? Not good I imagine. These are harsh things, and you can sure bet he got a strong reaction. Jesus is stereotypically pictured, in art at least, as a peaceful, quiet, smiling, caucasian man. I have never seen his face stretched in the frustration he must have felt as he said these words.
I'm certainly not likening my own rants to those of Jesus. But I do want to be careful that when I do rant, I'm as Christ like as possible. He argued Biblical principles, and made irrefutable points. If I was careful to do that every time I opened my mouth, I'd be silent for a much greater portion of my life. If I spent those times thinking of Christ's way to argue that point, myself and those around me would reap the blessings.
The thing is, my friendships always seem to complicate themselves. This takes root in my tendency to desire a certain depth in relationships that isn't desirable to everyone. I hope for too much, always looking for more than what's truly necessary, and in the past, never being happy with what I got.
But here's what I do have; a great bunch of friends that are there for me. A group of people both young and old that have supported me throughout the best and hardest times of my life. People ready to hear my most inane ramblings or simply be there beside me when there's nothing to say.
God has truly blest me and I am eternally grateful. Everytime I start in a new era of my life, I remember God's faithfulness to me in the past and my spirit can't help but be lifted.
For those of you that may be unaware, I have moved to Chicago and have started school at Moody Bible Institute. I will hopefully be reporting on my experiences a little more regularly...